The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Copied from my Letterboxd review:

I did it. I survived watching RETURN OF THE KING in a theater. Not just any theater, but a 4DX theater, getting thrown around in my chair and sprayed with water like I was on a Universal Studios ride for FOUR AND A HALF hours. As my friends pointed out, that length meant that I watched the Extended Edition by accident. It’s taken me several days to process it all.

I enjoyed it. Much like Frodo picking up the threads of an old life, RETURN OF THE KING has the heavy job of tying up all the threads of two movies/books, which is why, yes, it ends for like 45 minutes. (I’m not complaining. I’m saying I get it.)

Some of THE TWO TOWERS’ weakest threads were still there, like Éowyn’s unrequited crush on Aragorn (girl, join the club) and Boromir’s family’s subplot. But it didn't take away from the other bright spots. I did like Éowyn's Exclusively Feminist Moment. Merry and Pippin's determination to be short lil fighters and also lil mischief makers. Gandalf's cool horse. And all the other iconic moments I don't want to spoil in this 20+ year old movie.

The Pippin and Denethor + the Aragon ghost army scenes were the perfect times to go to the bathroom. 

The battle scenes were great (the Oliphaunts!!), of course, but even more intense in 4DX. Seriously, those chairs just threw me around and also poked me in the back every time someone got shot with an arrow. Which was a lot.

At the center of everything, the Sam/Frodo/Gollum of it all was a wild ride. That climb really had it all: Betrayal! BIG spider! Dirty-ass bare feet! Mordor hijinks! And Samwise being the world’s greatest friend while watching a former (?) hobbit and Frodo go Ring crazy. Mr. Frodo, where would you be without Sam? 

Much like this movie, I’m not sure how to end this. Well, I am going to watch at least one Hobbit movie, but my friends have told me they’re not great, so I have extremely low expectations. After that, I’m moving on to STAR WARS (7 movies LOL).